Staring ‘eyes locked’ at this strange man who had crushed her in the blink of an eye- literally- she was crushed, a steam roller couldn’t have done a better job of incapacitating her. He had the same eyes as Jake but it couldn’t be the same person, Jake would be in his late thirties, this guy wasn’t any older than twenty. It was this realisation that finally allowed her to move enough to wobble off the stage and back to the dressing room. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t actually Jake, it was too late, the emotional avalanche had already begun before her brain could rationalise this.
Adrian sat unmoving, The way she moved her body to the music was incredible, he couldn’t take his eyes off her, for that matter he couldn’t breathe either.
She had cast some kind of spell over him and he was helpless to do anything but sit here and suffocate as she weaved and twirled to the sultry sounds. It was like she was dancing just for him, he was mesmerized.
As she started to unravel the material her sweet scent enveloped him and set every molecule in his body shivering with delight in anticipation. It was almost enough for him to forget where he was, his control was slipping, throat burning and body throbbing in time with the music.
These where real feelings. Nothing like the tickle he’d felt for the other girl, these were devastating and dangerous.
He needed to have her - but she’d destroy him! He would lose his very soul to this girl - but she might actually be worth it - his mind was reeling and the monster was stirring, he could feel it reacting to her.
He needed to calm down before he lost control and everything that he held dear – like his humanity – In fact he needed to get out of here. If anyone saw his reaction to her, her life would be over. They would use her to turn him and against my will - and he’d do it - The monster was already growling with need, hewas losing control quickly. he haven’t felt this alive since the fever. What was it about this girl that had him losing control now after decades of feeling nothing? From what he could see she was pretty but that never affected him before, she was average height, long auburn hair, shapely body, her breasts were not to large - just a handful – but she had him captivated.... he would give her anything she wanted. Anything
How could he keep her – was he strong enough to keep her alive – would they use her – could he walk away from her – could he truly live without her, different endings were playing out inside his head. his life with her, his life without her – he shuddered at the thought of living without her. Adrian’s life had just changed in the space of a second.
Having not taken his eyes off her and try as he might, and not controlling his reaction to her either; it was out of his control. he just hoped that no one was paying him any attention right now.
She ended her dance right in front of him and thier eyes locked. he felt like I was drowning, floundering around trying to keep his grip on reality as his mind reeled off the possible outcomes.
he soaked in every detail of her face, but it was her eyes that held him. The pain he saw there snapped him out of his delusions reminding him that she was different.
The lights went out. he could still see her - with his sight working better in the dark - Her anger faded and she looked like she had crumpled in on herself, tears were trickling down her cheeks. She closed her eyes and seemed to pull herself together enough to stumble off the stage. he wanted to go to her, to help her, make her feel better, take the pain away but again he was frozen.
he couldn’t see her as she went through the curtain but he could hear her trapped sobs as she tried to keep them inside.
He wanted to grab Rowan and run from here, protect her from everyone.
He had to remind himself that it was him she needed protection from at this very moment. he should leave but couldn’t make himself go.
His life really sucked.... finally he had found something worth his interest and he couldn’t have it without causing irrevocable damage. he sighed and slumped back in his chair, knowing he would wait for her to come back out even though it might be the end of him, and possibly her too. The other girls came and went, they held no interest for hi he I was still here for one reason and only one. – Selfishness - he knew he should be paying more attention to the others but his mind was occupied with only one thing – Rowan.
It was Eve, Rowan saw first, she was still standing in the same spot as before “Rowan don’t cry” she sounded concerned “Rowan don’t cry, it gets better... easier... don’t.... dont worry about Adrian, you’re.... you’re not his kind, that’s all. its.... its not your fault. Im his kind, even if you had been here for years it would still have been the same. Come on Rowan youve got one more to do, you better get cleaned up or Rick will toss you out!”
She couldn’t talk or even smile, just nod her head and continued to the dressing room.
She ripped the mask off, hadn’t been aware she was crying before but it made sense now... that’s why she couldn’t see and everything was fuzzy. her mind kept going over the horrified look on his face. Was she really that repulsive?
Having thought she had dealt with these feelings years ago, she didnt expect them to be hit with them now... or ever. When Jake left the Home hehad crushed her and she had cried for weeks maybe months, she missed him dreadfully. Only 4 at the time, but the loss was heart hardening. She had never let anyone get close until Jake, he somehow gotton through her defences and crept into her heart. Jake was 17 almost 18 and she knew he would be leaving us soon, everyone at 18 did but he had promised to visit, and to take her with him next time. Before Jake came she had no friends the other kids would pick on her, push her around and tease her until she cried and hide under her bed. Jake changed all that. He was her hero, he was tall - but then everyone was a giant to her at 4 – and unbelievably good looking, – not that she noticed then but looking back she could see why the other girls disliked her, especially when he left, they blamed her because he spent his time with her and not them – He was more like Hercules or Superman to me. Although the pain was bad then It somehow seemed worse now instead of fading with time its like time intensified it making it more than any human could bare. acid of sorrow in my mouth and the sob that was locked in her chest waiting to tear her apart the moment she let it out. she couldn’t let that happen. She’d worked so hard for this and would be dammed if she was going to let some memory stop her now.
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