Chapter 20

Rowan opened her eyes to the most glorious sight, Xavier, naked and lying beside her. One hand behind his head the other on his taught golden stomach. She could lick every inch of him, he looked so good, the thought of running her tongue along the lines of his six pack, making her mouth water. His hair was tussled and his face flushed as he lay there, quietly contemplating something, she thought.

She just watched him, couldn’t believe that he was here with her, that he loved her. She had heard his please for her to wake up, and it had killed her to hear the desperation in his voice. She had wanted desperately to respond to him then, to tell him she felt the same way. To make sure he knew that she would never leave him through choice. Now that she was able to, she would show him exactly what he meant to her. She loved him so much. 

“Xavier.” She breathed, her voice sounded all husky and needful. Well her body was on fire, so what did she expect?

His blue/grey eyes locked on to hers when he turned his head to her. White hot desire looking at her, Love shinning, beaming into her before they turned steely grey and hard. He turned his head away from her.

“You need to feed Rowan.” Xavier said, his voice hard and cold.

“Look at me.” She pleaded.

“Just feed Rowan.”

She couldn’t fight it anymore, the fire was too hot, it demanded him, demanded his blood. She could see the pulse in his neck. Incredible pain flashed in her mouth as her teeth came in, piercing her bottom lip. Her mind shut down, all she could think about was the blood calling to her, the sound of it pulsing through him, like sirens call she couldn’t ignore. She threw herself on him, straddling his body and sank her teeth into his neck.

The first taste of blood, and it was glorious. He was glorious, and she wanted him inside her, needed him there. Drinking him in, she pushed herself down on his erection, trying to impale herself. The only place he was touching her was her head, he held it to him as he groaned and rocked against her. When she tried to wiggle herself into a position that he could enter her, he let go her head and pinned her hips to his body with both hands, not letting her move.

“No.” He said between clenched teeth. His jaw clenching, working the muscles into a visible tautness.

She heard herself whimper but couldn’t stop drinking. The pain in her core almost unbearable as he held her firmly against him. His hips moving slightly but not enough to ease her pain, as his blood flowed into her, calling her to him, her body demanded his. She ground against him but it was no use she needed more.

Grabbing both his hands, she yanked them from her hips, entwined her fingers with his, held them above his head and impaled herself.

“NO.” Xavier shouted, his body rigid under hers, his fingers gripping hers before groaning and thrusting against her.

  His memories playing out, his life force seeping into her, blood mixing, hearts synchronising, souls merging, she was home.  She felt loved and safe, as long as she was with him, nothing could hurt her.

The more she drank, the more her desire grew, her body looking for the release that was building to an earth shattering level. She released his hands and clung to him, he immediately grabbed her hips and thrust harder and faster into her. Over and over he thrust, harder and fast he drove them until she released his neck and cried out his name, her body exploding with such force she wasn’t sure she was still in one piece.

“NO.” His low growl joined her voice, shattering the silence in the room, as their bodies melted into each other and they became one. He held her tight to him, as his body shuddered and jerked, the movement igniting her orgasm to mind blowing.

Her mind slowly finding it's way back to her as her body came back from oblivion. Xaviers fingers were digging into her hips, as he held her tight against him, while his body jerked. His eyes were closed and his jaw locked, the muscles twitching.

Propping herself up on her elbow, she ran her fingers through his hair and kissed him. Needing him to hold her, kiss her, love her. They had been through so much, she had seen everything that he had done to save her. She was so grateful that he was ok, that he had made it back unhurt. Her tongue brushed his lips seeking entrance. It wasnt until then that she noticed the tension in his body, his lips pressed firmly together, his hands pressing against her instead of pulling her to him.

Was he pushing her away?

“I love you so much.” She breathed against his lips, before kissing them lightly.

His eyes snapped open, his brows drew together as the glacial look he was giving her froze her heart.

“Xavier, are you ok. Did I hurt you?”

His bitter laugh filled her ears, swamping her, trampling her frozen heart into dust.

“Are you done?” He asked, his voice devoid of emotion, his eyes hard and cold.

“I, a...”

“Good.” He said, as he rolled them over.

His body pinned her to the bed, she loved the feeling of him there, his weight helping to ground her. She sighed, and ran her fingers down his back, his gaze softened and he kissed her softly. Then it turned frosty again as he got up and left her there. She wasnt sure she could move her heart clenching and unclenching, her stomach in knots. What was that all about? Was he just exhausted? Yeah that must be it, he had been through the ringer in the last 24 hours, he just need to rest.

“Where are you going babe?” She asked. Watching his fumble with a towel.

“To shower. I’ll be back next time you need to feed.” He said, before disappearing from the room.

He’s just exhausted, she tried to tell herself, but she knew it wasnt just that. Something was wrong, she could feel it. Had she disappointed him? Was he going to leave her? Had he already left her? What would she do without him? Tears trickled down her cheeks, as she thought about him leaving her. She didn’t think she could survive without him now. He was part of her, a part she couldn’t live without.

“Xavier,” she called out, “please don't leave me.” but her words went unheard. She was alone and for the first time in her life she didn’t want to be.

If this is what love does to you, she didn’t need it, didn’t want it. But couldn’t live without it. She would just have to change his mind, make him want her again.

“I love you, you fool.” She shouted. Her words bouncing off the walls as she threw a pillow at the door.